Archive for July 2011

Chinese Food   Leave a comment

There are a couple of things that need addressing in regards to Chinese food.

1) How can someone not like Chinese food? There are so many things you can have that don’t taste the same. It’s like saying that you don’t like American food. Granted some items are similar; sauces and seasonings etc. But to write off the whole ethnicity?

In Batavia NY we have 2 great places: Panda and the Peking Buffet. At the Buffet they have this brown sauce in a square plastic container inconspicuously placed near the pork dumplings. It has become known as awesome sauce. Actually, it was probably always know as such. My buddies and I used to use that title loosely in regards to a variety of applications, but when I had this amazing, brown stuff I knew this was where the title originated and was meant to stay.In fact, after trying the Awesome Sauce you will certainly be more frugal with your use of the word “awesome” in the future.

2) How can anyone become fat on Chinese food? It acts like a culinary ram-rod. In goes the General Tso’s, wait 30 minutes, and out goes everything. It’s like those brownies people make with laxative in them as a gag. I bet you can have as many brownies as you want and you will not suffer weight gain. I would venture a guess that including a daily dose of Chinese into your diet would encourage weight loss. Or even “No-wait loss”. Get it? Sorry, I am still recovering.

Ok time to go. I think that a nap and a large helping of Shark Week is in order.

jb

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Posted July 31, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized

Sure I can work. No, I can’t walk.   Leave a comment

Ugh. I think I have made that sound a hundred times in the last 2 hours. I semi-destroyed my lower back working out Thursday. I didn’t warm up before a certain exercise. What? Yes, Yes I am a trainer. Why do you ask? Known better? Yeah well you… shut up. Ugh.

But here I am at the gym working. Pretty much useless though.

It happens. I’m getting older. The thing is I don’t get hurt as much now as I used to when I was younger. I am usually pretty careful but this time I was a little too exuberant.

On another note…

There are 2 typing mistakes that I make often but I have become fond of them. Beofre and Thnaks. Beofre sounds like a really old Anglo-Saxon name. Beofre the Mighty–slayer of enraged oxen and large conifers! Just in case you didn’t figure it out- the two words are before and thanks.

Thnaks is somewhat hard for me to pronounce. I always seem to want to say it like a “special” person. Thnakth. Like; “Hi Thteven leth haf thum delishuth thnaks!”

It’s my own fault though cuz that voice is always going through my head.

Anyway I am chair-bound due to this pain in my back so why not blog? Someone please get outside and do something mobile for me!

JB

Posted July 30, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized

The Gym (#1)   Leave a comment

I work at a gym. The YMCA Wellness Center to be exact. I named this post The Gym #1 because I am fairly certain there will be many more blogs regarding the gym and the weirdness within and around it.

No place in my world shows the 2 extreme ends that are dedication and sloth. There are many example but I will choose just a couple to share. There is a young man who is extremely dedicated to building his body. I would guess he is in his very early 20s. I see him almost every day lifting weights with great dedication. I also have to remind him almost every day to not park in the lot where the elderly people and the moms with kids need to park to be near the door. Yes this guy will work out daily but will not walk 100 feet to the door.

There is a gentleman that I would place in his 50s that plays raquetball daily for hours. Also must park right at the door instead of across the street.

Let me pause to remind you– they are at the gym to EXERCISE! Exercise is movement, sometimes with resistance.

People get done with 45 minutes of fanny-frying butt-burning fat-flattening cardio exercise, pick up the cleaning bottle and rag from the floor, clean the machine off, then place the bottle on top of the machine because they don’t want the bother of bending over slightly to put it back where it was taken from–on the floor.

I see huge guys that pick up the 100 lb dumbells from the rack but leave them on the floor because they don’t want to put them back on the rack. Really? REALLY?!

Some days it is the best job. I get to train with young athletes that are just trying to make the squad this fall. I get to come up with new ways for people to improve their mobility as they age. I get to infuse some self esteem into young guys and girls that are critiqued by their peers (and parents sometimes) daily.

But some days…  some days I loathe the people I see that just take and take and then leave refuse for someone else to pick up, or they do their thing and force everyone else to work around them. Let the elderly people walk farther. Let the mom with 3 kids in the car have to bundle them all up and walk them across the intersection.

Lots of extremes at this place.

Posted July 29, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized

Free One   Leave a comment

“Have a good one!”, the young lady at the deli counter said as I was leaving with my diet coke and bag of mesquite bbq kettle chips. I always take notice when someone says “one”. Ones are so common in our speech. I wrote a blog about it once on FB. You can insert the word one any time you want, and in any circumstance. Everything and anything can be a one.

This got me thinking. And giggling. When I think and it causes me to giggle I usually blog. Or text Smitty.

“Have a good one”, she said. One what? I realized what she had done was given me a blank check. Wow. I wonder how many times I have been given the license to have a good one and didn’t use it. I can have a good whatever I want!

At this point I’m not sure what I’m going to use it on. Maybe a good workout later with Joe. She didn’t know I was working out with Joe later so she gave me a universal good that I can spend on my workout. I don’t need to use my good on the diet coke or the chips cuz they are great and wouldn’t be improved by “gooding” them. It’s like a gift card. She doesn’t know me (or joe for that matter) and she wanted to give me something, but it’s hard getting gifts for someone you don’t really know. But you are always safe giving a good.

I am starting to appreciate her gesture more and more. What a great gift!

Yep, I’m tired so I am going to go ahead and good my workout.

Posted July 26, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized

shopping cart mayhem   Leave a comment

you’re never gonna find more thoughtless people than those at a grocery store. the problem? distraction. being thoughtful requires attention. you have to be able to assess a situation quickly and determine the course of action that accommodates another.

In crowded/fast paced situations thoughtfulness requires quick thinking. The enemy is distraction. When you are in a grocery store you find yourself always looking for something. It is a highly involved situation. “Do I want pierogies? And what kind? Oh, there is a new kind. That might be good”. The whole time your cart is blocking the frozen pizzas and since you didn’t actually stop pushing it also would have made hip replacement necessary for the college age guy headed to the Ben and Jerry’s. Thankfully he was paying attention.

The worst is the cart coming out of an aisle. You got what you needed in aisle 4 so its on to aisle 6 for chips. You roll out like Ludacris and your cart becomes a weapon. Its like entering the highway and instead of slowing and checking for traffic and then merging somewhat sanely, you plunge your 200 pound shopping cart into the pedestrian freeway of people just needing 3 pounds of sour/fruity things–sheering off legs at the ankles and crushing hips.

I think carts should be pulled. That way you have to risk your own body. Yeah I am talking about you running over YOUR OWN ankles when you try to read the nutritional info on the Oreos without slowing down. No they don’t contain protein and if they did it wouldn’t matter–they are still bad for your body. And great for your soul. So great.

Heads up people. Play the game with your head up.

Posted July 23, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized

its attackin’ my foot   Leave a comment

 

Alternate title- Sandals Can Be So Tacky.

This is my sweet Frayed-So Sanuk sandle. Yes it went all the way through, and yes it drew blood. 5 minutes into my work day. Needless to say that the first 30 minutes of work (in which I am usually groggy and less than chipper) lasted only 5 minutes. I was then wide awake but not exactly chipper.

Posted July 22, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized

The little xtras (Why I love Target)   Leave a comment

I went to Target today with Sarah. She loves Target and I was slowly starting to come around to that same love. It helped that they have sweet t-shirts, and awesome Archer Farms products like spinach&artichoke tortilla chips (pronounced tortilla). They sell the only candle that I love the scent… sandlewood. I love sandles and it is manly to chop wood. Bam and Bam= great manly candle.

What really sold me was the first time I had to use the bathroom in Target. And by use I mean the way that a guy USES THE BATHROOM. Understand? Let me back up. I have long had a hatred for my school. I go to SUNY Brockport. If you ever have to really go to the bathroom there (i.e. use the pooper) then bring your own tp. They provide tp that is most likely recycled aluminum foil. Do you want a clean fanny or a bleeding fanny? Not the dilemma I want while trying to get to my next class.

But Target… Oh Target you dear, dear store. You pay attention to the extras. Your bathroom welcomes me with cleanliness and a desire to please my tush. Your tp is nice. Not uber-plush lotion-infused toiletry opulence in a bathroom tissue, but nice. Above sufficient. I appreciate that. It was that last gesture that I received today that forever cut my tie to walmart. Notice the lower case w. You know, the place where you can find everything cheap and Chinese but then can’t get out of the store because 3 of the 42 lines are in operation.

Its the little xtras that make a business and a friend. Target, you are now my friend.

Sincerely,

JB

Posted July 16, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized