Inevitable   Leave a comment

There are certain things that happen to us all, or just are. What I mean is–certain things are going to happen to each of us as we age. We can’t stop it and should not feel exempt. And, certain things just are even though some of us are unaware or deny their being. They are certain truths.

4 examples of truths (whether we like it or not):

1) Everybody farts. Yes, even women. Sometimes they are the worst. That’s what you get when you live on french fries, chicken fingers, and pop tarts.

2) Baby animals are cute. Baby people are cute. In the early stages baby animals are cuter than baby people. Then baby people catch up and become cuter, then they stop being cute and animals overtake them, and then animals are cuter later in life. In short, when you add up all the cuteness in a lifetime–animals spend more time being cute than people.Thus animals are cuter than people.

PERSON-  Baby-looks like lizard——->Cute infant——->Brat that says cute things occasionally——->potentially, but not always cute kid——->acne (not cute)——->possibly cute young adult/adult——->uncute phase from 30-70——-> very short window of cuteness for elderly person(only if they are short and not driving)——->The end.

ANIMAL-  Baby-adorable with half shut eyes and squeeky noises——->cute while growing——->adult but still retaining a degree of cuteness——->The end.

3) Facial hair exists on both sexes. And mustaches are never good.

4) Both men AND women are crazy. To each other. If God didn’t make our private parts want the private parts of the opposite sex we would not have anything to do with each other.

Examples of what will be:

1) Hair will grow from your ears at some point. And it will grow wild and free. And if you can tame it–it will break free again.

2) As you age more and more foods will disagree with you and when you go into the bathroom to fight it out it will smell just like when your parents used to fight it out in the bathroom.

3) You will use the phrase “crazy kids” at some point in the near future.

4) You have a window of “coolness”. It does not last forever. If you happen to die in your window of coolness you will live forever as cool. Deep, I know. Some people try to be cool all the time forever. Someone needs to walk up behind them and push them out of the window of coolness.

Ok, I will stop there. I think we learned a lot today.



Posted August 14, 2011 by john b in philosofickle

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