The Gym #4 (whats your sign?)   1 comment

So first let me say that I am sorry for not blogging more. See that sentence assumes that you care whether I blog, and that you want me to blog more. Since those assumptions make me feel good I will go ahead and assume away!

I am at the gym and I am listening to a girl lecture 2 guys on horoscope stuff. She is telling them all about compatability and the character traits allegedly possessed by people born under each sign. Before I go on let me say that I do not really believe in horoscopes. That being said, I do not have concrete evidence to say otherwise but I do happen to believe that people are a product of there genetic make up and their growing environment. Enough about me, lets get to the good stuff…

The girl initiated the conversation. She had them (the 2 guys) at “hey”. I take that back, she had them at the inhale before her first words came out. You see, no girl starts a conversation in the gym. Ever. Never ever. Always the guy starts it. Take that to the bank. You know why? Because when a guy sees a girl make eye contact with him his brain starts a conversation in his mind. It isn’t audible but he thinks it is. It is very convincing. He sees the white of her eyes and he hears, “Well hello there big strong man. Come talk to me”. So he goes over and starts talking. That’s why girls wear headphones and try not to make eye contact.

So this girl starts telling these guys why they act the way they do and they must certainly be ________ sign. I am sorry I missed that part. I think she said Taurus. But I think she is incorrect. The one guy might be a mid-sized sedan but the other dude is nothing less than an Explorer and more likely an Expedition.

So on and on she talks and these guys are agreeing and nodding. I can almost hear their thoughts. She says something about one sign being opposite and attractive to their opposite. In his mind he is thinking, “Oh that’s so true! I’m a guy and she is a girl! I have a bolt and she has a nut! Do you see this? We belong together! We are so opposites!” (at this point he is clapping his hands, giggling and picturing her in her underwear).

So then they talk about the 4 elements Fire, Wind, Earth and Water. She says that Expedition must be an Earth and he probably loves being outside. Apparently cuz earth is outside. I think she is interchanging earth and nature. I think he loves the open road and chicken finger subs. I guess since we have indoor plumbing you could be a Water and enjoy outside OR inside. My immediate thought was, “what about fire”? What if you are a fire? Does that mean you feel most comfortable near open flames? Would an oven suffice? How ’bout a microwave? How ’bout a smoldering look from your opposite?!

What if you are Wind? This is starting to make less and less sense the more I think about it. Dogs must be all Wind. You know with the head out the window and such. I dunno!



Posted August 19, 2011 by john b in oh ssstop

One response to “The Gym #4 (whats your sign?)

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  1. very funny stuff John B.
    Chris A

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