Unspoken Prayer Request   Leave a comment

I received a text last night that was not unlike some texts I have received before. I should apologize in advance for this post. I think the subject matter is funny so I will go ahead and post it, and let me say that I respect the idea and the text question. Let me explain…

The text was a request for prayer. This is not uncommon among religious folk. But when I asked what the person wanted prayer for they responded with, “unspoken”. Let me explain that to those of you that might not be familiar with christian lingo. An unspoken prayer request means that someone wants you to pray for them but they are embarrassed by the concern that they have. Sometimes it is a feeling of guilt that they are dealing with, and sometimes it is just an uncomfortable situation.

But here is MY take on the whole thing. It is uncomfortable to talk to Someone on behalf of someone and have no idea what you are talking about. “Um, hi God… I um have to talk to you. What’s that? Uh… No. I don’t know what about. So and So is having a hard time I guess, or maybe they have a reocurring bunion. Seriously God I am not sure what this is about. Could you just take care of whatever it is? Thanks a bunch”.

See? Thats awkward. So I came to a conclusion…

If you ask me to pray for you, and you will not be specific as to what the concern is, then I reserve the right to imagine whatever the issue is and pray accordingly. Whats that? You have a “need”? What is it? Unspoken? Ok then… in that case.

Dear God, So and So needs me to talk to you. I think he has a problem with eating chalk and just doesn’t want me to know. So, if you could maybe change his taste buds so that chalk actually tastes like chalk to him instead of something yummy–that would be great. Thanks a bunch. Oh wait… Y’know on second thought… maybe it isn’t a chalk problem. I saw him scratching his elbow yesterday so maybe he is dealing with a rash. I bet that’s it. God please make his itchy rash go away. And for some reason I just thought of puppies. I bet he wants a puppy! Not sure why he didn’t just say that though. Maybe he thinks puppies aren’t masculine. I like puppies though. You don’t think he wants a poodle do you? Well since I’m the one doing the praying… please provide him with a cool rotweiler puppy. That doesn’t pee when I go over to play video games with him. Ok I think that’s all. So just to recap–if you could take care of the chalk thing, the rash, and the puppy I would be very appreciative. Well, he would be appreciative. I really don’t care that much about the whole thing. Ok thanks. JB

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Posted August 26, 2011 by john b in oh ssstop, Uncategorized

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