Archive for September 2011

Is the Teacher Teaching?   Leave a comment

There is a gentleman that comes to the Y. He is a retired teacher from Batavia. As far as I can tell he is beloved by many.

I have talked to him many times. As soon as he found out that I was going to school to be a teacher he started calling me Professor. Super nice man. He asked me how to use some of the machines and wanted to know if they would help his particular situation. So I showed him how and answered his questions.

Some weeks passed and I saw him again. We chatted and then he asked me about some of the machines and wanted to know if they would help his particular situation. So I showed him how and answered his questions. note- they were the same machines and the same questions regarding the same situation.

So, some weeks passed and we chatted and… yeah. You guessed it. Same requests, same questions. This has been going on for about 2 years now. Finally today, only moments ago, it happened again. Now I am wondering something; what is going on? He is very sharp and he is still substitute teaching. Is he suffering short term memory loss? Mild dimentia? Does he want to talk to me so badly that this is how he engages in conversation?

I really wonder. I was thinking back on our conversations from the last couple of years and was trying to remember if he told me that patience was the key to teaching. Cuz right about now I’m thinking that he is teaching me a lesson. He has to be.


Posted September 29, 2011 by john b in philosofickle

Soup or Bass   Leave a comment

Hello! Long time no write! Sorry ’bout that. Back to school now so time is short and stress is long.

So I rarely listen to pop radio but the other morning I was flippin stations and came across a local station that was playing a catchy tune. Turns out it was Nicki Minaj’s Super Bass. What a cool tune! I listened for a bit and then went about my day.

A couple of days later I heard it again and this time I was able to actually pick out the lyrics. Oh dear.

That song raises a question in my mind. And the answer to that question leads to other questions. Here it is: When the guy gives her “that look” and her pants come off, is it because of her pants? Or, is it because of his look.

If it is because of the kind of pants she is wearing then it is reasonable to assume that she might have to be careful where she might wear those pants, and is he going to be there at some point? I mean, maybe she wears those pants at home cuz they are awesomely soft and fuzzy like the belly of a baby seal, but what if she just happens to make a quick run to the corner store for ice cream? Man I hope she doesn’t run into him. You don’t get service when you don’t wear pants and I would hate to have her not be able to get her ice cream because her pants fell off.

The second possibility:

If it is his look. What powers he has!

“Well, hello there.”… *the look*… BAM! … No pants.

The movie Spider Man comes to mind. Remember what Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker (Peter is Spider Man. I hope you knew that), “With great power comes great responsibility.”

If I had this guy’s power you can believe that I would be careful. That look isn’t for every situation but you can bet I would pull it out often. Just think about it! How many situations have you been in or are in daily that you could use that power? Tons! Making someone’s pants fall off is so useful! After a few weeks my buddies would all be wearing suspenders. After a month they would wear nothing but ones-ies. “Smitty, you wanna go to Center Street to watch the game?” “Heck no! Last time you blew my pants off every time we scored.” “Yeah, yeah I did. Sorry. Stafford got a hat-trick but I prefer to think of it as a pants trick.”

So yeah. Interesting song. I hope she puts that guy in a video some day just so I can see his look in action.

Posted September 21, 2011 by john b in oh ssstop

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Fame! I’m gonna live foreverrrr!   Leave a comment

Before I get into the meat of this blog I want to first point out that the CanJam team of my girlfriend Sarah and myself is unstoppable. We would be happy to play any team that wants to face us. Provided you do not cry when you lose, and we get to take your frisbee as our trophy.

Secondly… This past weekend I was on the front page of the Batavia Daily News newspaper. Let me just tell you, what a whirlwind life has become due to my heightened celebrity status. With all of the flood of texts and emails I have been swamped! I think I had no less than 5 texts about it! And signings! I had to sign newspapers like you wouldn’t believe. Ok, I had to sign Smitty’s copy.

The article was in regards to the YMCA–where I am employed. When I got to work Friday (the day the paper came out- but not like the way a young man comes out) the first comment I received was, “Nice picture!” This was immediately followed by the second; “Why didn’t you smile? You look so serious.” My reply was, “Well first of all–do YOU smile when you get your picture taken by the newspaper and they post it on the front page? Seriously, how do YOU like to pose for all of your front-page appearances?” Geez–criticism immediately. Haters everywhere. Gotta try to knock me off my 15 seconds of pedestal time.

I didn’t really say that. At that time my ego was still in check. But really I had no idea my pic was going to be taken and I was told nothing other than to sit on a workout machine and look like I was working out. I didn’t know if I was supposed to lift the weight and hold it, or if I was going to have to keep lifting it while Mr. Gigantic Camera got just the right shot. So I chose a VERY light weight in case I was going to have to rep it a hundred times. And I didn’t smile. Why? Cuz I was keepin’ it real. We don’t smile when we lift weights. That and I was nervous. “Um, Mr. Camera Man? Yeah, would you please shoot me from the right side? You see, I have a large pimple on the left side of my neck. What’s that? Photo Shop? Oh, ok, go ahead then.”

Stay tuned for my reality show and new book!

Posted September 6, 2011 by john b in oh ssstop

Hockey #3 John and Skate plus ate   Leave a comment

So I was wrong in my last blog. The Men’s League evaluation skate was this past Friday (2nd).

It was fun! It helped that I did it last year. Last year I was so nervous. This year I just had a ton of fun. I played defense a lot, blocked shots, broke my stick, blocked Joe, blocked Joe again, had a sweet skate up the ice around the other team only to make my wing man go offsides thus negating all my efforts, and just had an all around good time.

It doesn’t really matter. The eval skate is just to rank the league prospects so they know what level you are. Last year it was a point of pride for me. This year it was also a bit of pride but more so it was me trying to be better than all my friends that were also trying out. Let me explain…

We all submitted our paperwork to get into the league on the same day, at the same time. The league then drew numbers from a box to determine who’s application was to be processed first. Bobby’s paperwork was first so if he gets ranked as a B3 level skater then when they need another B3 level skater in the league he will enter the league. I thought that maybe Jake, Bobby, and Dan would all get ranked about the same. I wanted to be one rank above them so that I wouldn’t be behind them all if any openings came up. Also…

Of the guys I mentioned above only Jake trained this past summer. Jake works out with me and also with me and Joe sometimes. We lift weights and flip tractor tires and sprint up hills and compliment each others fannys. But to my knowledge, no one I know gets up in the morning and goes outside and shoots a hundred pucks at a mattress, or brings his hockey stick to work and works on stick handling drills in the gym, or rode his bike to and from work to get his legs ready. I figured all that makes me deserve a higher ranking. So yeah, I guess it is a pride thing.

The funny thing is this–if any of us were to be ranked below what we should be then it would ultimately work out better in the long run. You see, every team is made up of a B1 B2 B3 B4 and 2 defense men. So if I got ranked as a B3 then I am guaranteed to have 2 other guys on my team that are at least as good and probably better than me. That makes us a strong team.

I ended up playing defense a bunch at the eval skate so maybe I will be a D-man. We will see!

I kinda laughed at a few of the guys we played against. They put all of the league prospects on one team and the other team was made up of guys already in the league. A few of them played like they thought they were something special. I hear from friends that many of the guys in the league take it as a point of pride and treat newcomers as rookies that haven’t paid their dues. The thing is, everybody pays the same amount and the only thing that got them into the league was coincidental timing. They aren’t even any better than us. One guy on the mens league team kept throwing his shoulder into me when he skated by. I had to laugh. He has been in the league for years now and I have been skating for only 3 years total. I am definitely better. Besides that if we were to bump shoulders away from the ice he would turn and run. I can’t name names but his name rhymes with Pale Mice. And both his first and last name are also foods.

Wow look at me being all tough guy. Must be the excess testosterone still running through my bod after Friday night warfare.

So just waiting to hear from the league! Worst case scenario: they put me on a sub list in case someone gets injured and they refund my application fee. I then get to buy a new stick to replace the one I broke.

Posted September 4, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized

So, A Blind Man Walks In To A Bar…   Leave a comment

Get it? Yeah I know–it isn’t funny. Who can laugh at a blind person. I used to though. There is one that I know who has the craziest way of talking. Truly peculiar. I would never mock someone for a disability but I did use to dump salt into his food when he wasn’t looking. You would be surprised how many times I caught him not looking. I would never do that. Ever.

To make matters worse–he had diabetes. The bad kind. The kind that eats away at your feet. He would come to the place I work at and tune pianos for us. My boss would always send me to get food for him. His choice of food? A salad with fries and a milkshake. This made me laugh. Not at him though. I was laughing with him.

It got me thinking though. If I was blind, and had diabetes that was slowly taking my feet, I would eat whatever the heck I wanted.

This made me think about an older man I saw in a wheelchair at the ballgame. He had an oxygen tank with tubes going up his nostrils, and he was smoking. Again, my first instinct was to think, “what the heck dude? really? are you that stupid?” My next thought was, “go for it man. why go through the pains of withdrawel now? just enjoy that.”

Somewhat related and somewhat not..

Sometimes my first instinct is good. My response or reply is soft. Most of the time it isn’t. I usually have to sort it out in my head and decide to be better than what I would naturally be. I wish it weren’t so. I would love to naturally kind, and forgiving, and gentle, and uplifting/encouraging. I am quite often, but it is after a decision to be so.


Posted September 1, 2011 by john b in Uncategorized