Archive for July 2012

gotta know your weaknesses in order to fix them   Leave a comment

i work at a gym. in fact, i run the gym. dont get all impressed on me cuz it really isnt that impressive. i pretty much just schedule everyone to work and then try to make them actually work.

i like the gym. when i started lifting weights it taught me a lot about me and people in general.

why lift weights? well for me i had a few goals.

  1. i wanted to have muscles and be powerful
  2. i wanted to be hott for my wife, whomever she would turn out to be
  3. i wanted to be athletic so that i could do stuff with my kids, whenever i had kids.

i have since added a 4th element and that is that i want to maximize and sustain my athletic ability for hockey and sports in general.

one thing i learned from all of this is that in order to be good at something you have to identify your weaknesses and train them.

i think someone who succeeds in life is good at identifying their weaknesses. someone with low self esteem is at risk of glossing over those weaknesses and focusing on their strengths. i see that a lot in the gym. guys and girls come in and do what they enjoy the most or what they are good at but shy away from the harder things. instead of the gym being a place to make them better they use the gym as a place to bolster their ego or self esteem. that’s why i see guys bench-pressing much of the time.

the bench-press is widely regarded as a symbol of power. “how much do you bench?” frequently asked question. stupid question.

to a guy who is trying to build his body the weights are just tools. unfortunately it is more common to see the weights using the tools. get it?

if i am building a house, and the house is turning out nice, is it really important to you what size hammer i am using? you see, the numbers get in the way. guys and girls want to focus on their numbers, but really they want to focus on their numbers in relation to YOUR numbers. the numbers mean nothing if not compared to other numbers.

some guys that have low self esteem become the best bodybuilders. you see that many of the best bodybuilders in the world are short. it is somewhat rare to see bodybuilders over 6 ft tall. not to say all short guys have esteem issues. but it makes me wonder.

ok back to my original topic…

identify your weaknesses. i.e. what are your problems. how many times do we decide what it is we want and then justify that with excuses. i have known many friends who are like that. one got married for all the wrong reasons but justified it in his head because he wanted to enjoy that girl’s private parts, but didnt love her enough to even have a job, or any idea of who he was or what being a husband-father meant.

i deal with people every day who lie to me constantly. its unfortunate because if i could i would tell them, “look, i dont care in the least what you eat. i dont care if you come to my gym or not. all i am trying to do is help you attain your goals. if you want to be lean, and you eat crap all the time, but you lie to me about it, YOU lose. not me”.

for all i know those people lie to themselves. if you lie to yourself can you really even help but lie to others? what kind of reality is that? if your inner dialog is BS, then what do you think comes out of your mouth?

in my job there is nothing worse then going through the motions of training and talking with someone when i know they will not continue on, and if they do they still wont achieve their results, and will quit at some point. if a healthy dose of honesty was infused in our relationship then real progress could be made. i had a girl who finally told me her problem is that she needs to eat ice cream at some point every day. you know what? we worked around it and she made the progress she wanted to make. all she had to do was tell me.

this isn’t really about the gym. it is a decent analogy, but it’s life in general that is the point. what are your weaknesses? do you need to make them stronger? avoiding them actually makes them weaker.

Posted July 25, 2012 by john b in Uncategorized

Our Deceitful Comfort Zone   Leave a comment

As per usual, I have been kinda thinking about this topic for a little while but not really giving it any real amount of my attention until recent events encouraged me to focus on it. I thought it somewhat profound enough to be worth blogging. Of course, I have blogged for much less so that isn’t saying much.

I have been noticing people, and myself, and how we interact inside and outside of our comfort zone. That led me to come to a conclusion regarding their actions and how one gets/changes their comfort zone.

Comfort in life has been a pretty important topic to me in the past. Some people go to great lengths to achieve and protect their comfort and maybe even interchange the words happy and comfortable.

Here is the thing… the smaller your comfort zone, the more uncomfortable you are going to be in life. OR, you are going to spend more time in it and away from life. If you are only comfortable in a limited number of places then it stands to reason that you will stay away from uncomfortable places. Or, you will begin to be comfortable in more places, thus expanding your comfort zone and increasing your level of comfort in life. make sense?

let me put it this way… if you only like to eat 4 different things then it is likely that you will either rarely eat away from those things, or you will not enjoy eating most of the time. if you go out of your way to try new things then it is reasonable to assume that you will end up experiencing some new foods that you dont like, but you will probably also experience foods you DO like. the result? you just expanded your comfort zone and will likely be more at ease and find more enjoyment when eating.

there are quite a few examples to choose from and i am sure you can think of your own. in my own life, i have kind of gone out of my way to do things that intimidated me. i didnt do it for any noble reason other than it made me angry that i was nervous, or uncomfortable, or intimidated. so i did things to get over that. the unconcious result was an ever expanding comfort zone. 

people who shy away from uncomfortable situations will always have those same uncomfortable situations. i can’t live that way. i refuse.

maybe it’s my competitive nature. probably is.

i kind of confused this concept with being particular. being particular in taste is not the same thing. if you like what you like that is fine! the problem is when you will never do anything new and excuse is it with “well i just like this”.

im not here to say anyone’s lifestyle is wrong. doesn’t matter to me. all i am trying to do is point this out in case you haven’t recognized it yet for yourself.

in short, the more you refuse to leave your comfort zone, the more likely you are to be uncomfortable. big deal… unless you want to spend time with people that exist in a much larger zone. you either pull away from them or you expand your zone. your choice.

i have a few fences that keep my zone the size that it is. i have to work at diminishing the discomfort  that established those barriers. speaking in front of groups is one of them.

another big one is dancing. i cant dance. or maybe i can. i have no idea. the thought of dancing makes me feel ill. i have left many weddings early just to avoid that time of the night. for me its a little different in that i really have no idea what good dancing is and what bad dancing is. it all looks weird to me. hence… extreme discomfort. i am not sure that my zone will ever contain a dance floor.  so i guess we all have our issues.

Posted July 12, 2012 by john b in philosofickle

The Best Wedding Yet   Leave a comment

my friend brennan (lover of manly things like hockey and beer and drums and good music) married his friend tara (lover of manly things like brennan) sunday. i was in the wedding. to date, it was the best wedding. i have a lot of reasons why. in fact, you can’t really argue with me as to whether or not it was actually the best wedding because i will offer reasons and facts and you will be wrong, and shamed. don’t believe me? well here are some of the reasons why it was the best…

brennan married tara

tara married brennan (bren and i are close–so she actually married both of us but she doesnt know that yet… i dont think. she will soon though)

they were married at northgate fmc and pastor andy did the ceremony

anth (singer/songwriter/worship leader/hockey buddy/softball captain/father to 2 awesome boys/maintainer of good looks with less hair than the average head of hair holds #hardtodo), sang this song by dustin kensrue http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmP4VeWNZ6w

pretty much the best song ever written

just to recap so far… the best 2+ people, married in the best church, by the best pastor, to the best song = best wedding.

not convinced huh? ok i have more

the weather was just about 80 with a breeze

justin michau did the photography  http://www.facebook.com/JustinMichauPhotography as you can see, justin can operate a camera much like a marine sniper operates a rifle

the reception was at becker farms  and becker is only one letter less than beckler, which is the best name ever. 

they had a build-your-own-loaded-baked-potato table

they also had a build-your-own-taco table

they ALSO had a build-your-own-burger table. with endless bacon

brennan’s bro was home from the army to be his best man

AND… i got to enjoy the reception with my lady sarah (lover of manly things – me/ blogger of sweet bloggings/crafter of crafty things)

if you aren’t convinced by now- you are crazy and obviously biased and may have suffered a head injury recently or maybe even not recently but you should prolly get that checked in case you have a concussion cuz im pretty sure you have permanent damage

Posted July 10, 2012 by john b in oh ssstop

Tagged with , ,